Friday, 3 February 2012

MDNA "Give Me All Your Luvin"...Uh and Oh



In between being a serious art house movie director (see Madonna in 'serious art house movie director look' here) and stealing your sons, the Queen of cheek stuffing not only found time to yodel like Avril Lavigne and Gwen Stefani in a yodel-off for new single "Give Me All Your Luvin"; but also make a video to accompany her yodelling, which features Maw-Maw and some American football players re-enacting Sir Walter Raleigh's chivalrous attempt to prevent Elizabeth I from muddying her shoes. Madge's version sees big buff men in helmets laying varsity jackets on the floor. Touchdown!

The video also features rappers Nicki Minaj and M.I.A, which would explain what she meant when she said "I'm on the lookout for the maddest, sickest, most badass people to collaborate with". Hmm....don't get me wrong, I like busting my ears with Nicki's high-pitched singing her make-up off on my iPod, but wearing all of Lil' Kim's old pink wigs, tarantula legs for eyelashes, and prancing around in your videos like you're about to have an epileptic fit, kind of just puts the ASS in badass really.

But back to the video, which also features a 'Suburban Madge' pushing a pram while wearing a trenchcoat (the same one she probably wears when the plumber visits), a crucifix (obv), some cheerleaders and lots of pom poms. It doesn't feature Madge in cheerleader garb rah rah rah'ing with the number 53 on her chest. They missed a trick there.

I LV MDNA (that's 'I love Madonna' for those of you non vowel-hating folk ), and you know I'm always cheering on shuffleboarders. But seriously, this song and video are painful to both my eyes and ears - and I've been a fan since wearing electric blue leggings to my school mufti day was the done thing. AKA, channelling the 'writhing around on a gondola in Venice' look.

Oh, and why I'm on a Madge-roll, I saw the official album cover for MDNA while I was abroad on a press trip this week, and can I just say.....er, flyer for a seedy nightclub that's normally found on the floor of the urinals in a gay bar much?! 




MDNA, (Don't) Give Me All Your Luvin. "Talk to the tail" instead, as my dog says when I ask her to rate my work. Yes I talk to my dog, and she thinks the same as me. She also preferred the "Confessions" album. 
Ok, we may only have words while I'm drunk, but that's how it's done. Ask her for yourself, but you have to drink a bottle of Chardonnay first.


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