Thursday, 2 June 2011

Courtney Love Is Confused...and not for the first time



Many many breakdowns ago (in 2010), Courtney Love launched her own fashion website (whatcourtneyworetoday.com) after slurring how annoyed she was at seeing "gross" pictures of herself on the internet. The website - dedicated to her outfits du jour - some of which are insured for $10m *coughs*, receives thousands of hits a day and has made the Hole front-lady a fashion icon.

HA!! JUST KIDDIN' YA!

We all know that Love usually looks like she nibbles pigeon bones and licks rocks under a motorway bridge - and the odd occasion when she does get steam cleaned, wrapped in fresh skin and dipped in an extra potent Radox BATH, she still makes our eyes confused and want to spray her in Holy water.
So imagine my surprise when I read that the singer and general mess recently told the London Evening Standard that she'd turned down an offer from Topshop owner Philip Green to work on a collection for the high street retailer, saying, "He was on the boat next to us in Cannes and I talked to him about my line. He was very interested but I kept telling him he couldn't have it. I don't want my collection in the basement in Topshop on Oxford Circus, I want it in Browns or Selfridges. But apparently the thing with Sir Philip is, just to keep saying no to him is what he likes best. He's called me four times already, saying he wants to do a diffusion line."

Not so says big Phil's spokesperson, who claims that Love's brain is operated by narcotics, saying: "Courtney and Philip shared a brief conversation over one boat rail to another while in Cannes—they have had no contact since, telephonic or otherwise." Anotherwords, Green had to spell it out for her in crack smoke signals that said "BITCH, PLEASE". Delusion is a messed up drug. Stay crazy, Courtney.

And forgive me while I adopt 'snooty face', but the day that Selfridges or (GOD FORBID!!) Browns WANTS or AGREES to a capsule collection by someone whose ham bare ham hocks I have seen more times than any other woman's in history and whose daily inspiration comes from ratty hair voodoo rituals, pacts with the man-hands devil, face transplants with duck bills and fillers not approved by the MHRA... is the day I make the sign of the cross and give up fashion altogether.

Courtney darling, just keep hallucinating........via your nostrils.

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