Saturday, 21 May 2011

Wear It Like Rocky Balboa

The man's whose arms are ribbed for my displeasure - Sylvester Stallone - is launching his own fashion range. Right, stop for a minute....let that sink in.....and now read on....OH MY GOOD GOD WTF FOR?!!
WWD reports that the actor has hired retail executive Michael Henry to assist him in launching a men's lifestyle brand based on his "Rocky" and "Rambo" movie characters (I'm thinking sweatpants, mullets and camouflage hairbands) titled Stallone. Just you wait till his Mama - aka the constipated Chucky doll - releases her own line titled 'Jackie'...based on a discount charity shop makeover by a crackhead stylist with Tourettes.
Henry says that Sly's fashion range (seriously, I get a tick in both eyes when I say the words 'Sly' and 'Fashion' in the same sentence) draws inspiration from the actor's two best-known characters because, "Rocky at the end of the day is a love story, while Rambo showcases the other side of masculinity, he’s a loner. If [Rocky] wore white and pleated pants, it would have been a whole different thing".
Uh-huh.
The collection which launches in 2012 is aimed at both “the rebel and the gentleman," and will include jeans, shirts, and underwear; eventually expanding into grooming products, sportswear and accessories. The line targets men between the ages of 25 and 40.
Stallone told Men's Week: “I thought the time is now. I’ve lived a life where I know what has worked and what hasn’t worked. Clothing is the first step to building a character.” He also revealed he was “truly involved in style,” between “Rambo 2” and “Rambo 3” when he underwent a “huge weight change,” dropping his moobies from 185 to 160 pounds. “Nothing fit so I started buying custom clothing" he said, "I found out I really like this world. It’s a very fascinating dynamic, and something that I’ve always wanted to experiment with.”
With more female slebs launching their own-name fashion brands, ole rubber-face admitted that he's surprised more male film stars haven't embraced the trend:
“Maybe a lot of them dress for the films they’re in and they don’t want to be a slave to fashion. Or they’re more casual. But I think there’s room for both and it’s not being represented, especially in my age group. But for me, this is about challenging myself and sharing my experiences. I pay a great deal of attention to the way I dress. When men learn to put things together, they start taking care of themselves better.”
Tell that to Mickey Rourke, who permanently dresses like a goat-footed, wheezy, old queen who was forced to take a job as a motorbike courier after the recession ate his florist shop. And while I'm on the subject of looking like a fully-embalmed Michael Myers ( Sly's surgeon obviously operates with his feet too) - have you noticed his eyebrows and hairline have been in a long-distance relationship for a while now...isn't it about time they finally got back together. Just a few more lifts...and they'll be making out.

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